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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27246913">Off my mind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILoveFANFic/pseuds/ILoveFANFic'>ILoveFANFic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Also a lot of porn lol, Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Based on a Radio Company song, Because Destiel is the way, Because it bears repeating that nothing graphic happens outside of Destiel, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, But also some humor, Castiel and Dean Winchester have feeeeelings, Closeted Dean Winchester, Dirty Talk, Even tho the CW writers didn’t get the fucking memo, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Implied/Referenced Hand Jobs, Implied/referenced rimming, Jealous Castiel (Supernatural), Jealous Dean Winchester, Jealousy, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Cas/others and Dean/others, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), POV Dean, POV Dean Winchester, Porn with Feelings, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, Sweet and romantic sex, The following tags are only for Destiel, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, a lot of feelings, but only mentions, gay clubs, is that even a tag?, it is now lol, nothing graphic, restroom sex, safe sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:47:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27246913</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILoveFANFic/pseuds/ILoveFANFic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Boy – Dean – meets boy – Cas – at a club and brings him back home.</p><p>Dean is in the closet. Cas doesn’t even know what a closet is.</p><p>Dean wants them to be fuck buddies. Cas wants to date Dean.</p><p>Dean doesn’t date men. Cas doesn’t want to be anybody’s dirty little secret.</p><p>Parting ways at the end of their night together seems to be the only logical conclusion.</p><p>But Dean just can’t get Cas off his mind.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>One day, Jensen’s voice started singing Radio Company’s “Off my mind” on my Spotify and these lines smacked me in the face:</p><p>All you gotta do is nothing<br/>Trade it all in for something new<br/>Blame it on the way we were put together<br/>While some remedy's forsaken you<br/>Oh, and how do I get you off my mind<br/>With you back in my bed<br/>How do I get you off my mind<br/>Can't have you living in my head</p><p>The rest, as the saying goes, is fanfic  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p><p>Also, today marks the first anniversary of my first fan fic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/21215279">Sirius is a place on earth</a> and I wanted to celebrate all that writing and sharing my works has given me in the last year by starting to post a new work. Apparently, I’m sentimental like that lol</p><p>This fic is around 9k and I will post once a week. Hope you guys enjoy! Come chat with me in the comments if you feel like telling me what you think about this (or if you just want to chat!) 😘</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Yes</em>, ah, like that. <em>Fuck</em>. Right there, baby. God you’re fucking huge, fucking me so well. Harder, <em>harder</em>.”</p><p>Jesus, this guy. When Dean saw him at the club earlier he stopped short because of how absolutely stunning the dude is, and it’d have been impossible for Dean not to notice what an absolutely <em>thick</em> cock he has, with how much that delicious dick stretched his lips when Dean got down on his knees for him after he finally got him naked. But being drop dead gorgeous and having a big dick don’t guarantee the guy will know what to do with it. This dude here though? This one knows <em>exactly</em> how to use that cock and those hips and those big hands of his.</p><p>“Yeah, baby, fucking use that hole just like that.”</p><p>Dean <em>knows</em> he sounds like a cheap whore, but he just can’t help it, not when Gorgeous is fucking his ass better than anyone ever has in his fucking life and what has Dean even been doing so far, letting men who aren’t <em>this</em> skillful fuck him?!</p><p>But then Gorgeous pulls him up with a hand around his neck and kisses him filthily, using those plump lips of his and that very long tongue – Dean’s insides have a <em>very</em> clear idea of just how long and talented that tongue is – to lick along his lips and slide against his tongue lushly, until Gorgeous’s teeth nip Dean’s bottom lip and he presses his forehead against Dean’s temple, one of his hands still around Dean’s neck and the other gripping Dean’s left hip tight for leverage, to keep thrusting into Dean hard and fast, his labored breath loud in Dean’s ear.</p><p>Until Dean hears the sexiest, lowest, more gravelly voice he’s ever heard whisper in his ear “Yeah? You a slut for my cock, sweetheart?”</p><p>The bastard’s even slowed down the pace of his hips, teasing Dean with nice and slow when he’s showed him how hard and fast he can go and he <em>knows</em>, because Dean’s been <em>begging</em> him, that that’s what Dean’s craving.</p><p>Jesus, <em>this guy</em>. With his striking blue eyes, the commanding attitude, the sexy voice and the cute endearments that sound totally filthy coming out of that porny mouth.</p><p>All of that was what attracted Dean in the first place, and he stalked toward Gorgeous as soon as he spotted him waiting for his drink at the bar without a second thought.</p><p>“Your name’s <em>Castiel</em>?” he’d commented intelligently after the man had introduced himself, “Wow, that’s a mouthful.”</p><p>“My name’s not the only part of me that’s a mouthful, sweetheart,” Gorgeous had replied, smugness all over his beautiful face and a perfectly arched Dom brow that had Dean’s ass clench around the sudden feeling of wanting to be filled by this man.</p><p>“I’d love to be the judge of that,” Dean had taunted, because Gorgeous – Castiel – was making his sluttiness levels reach new heights and all he wanted was to feel this man’s <em>something</em> <em>somewhere</em> inside of himself – preferably this man’s <em>everything</em> <em>everywhere</em> inside of himself – sooner rather than later.</p><p>Clearly not a man to waste time or words, Castiel smirked wolfishly, grabbed Dean’s wrist and dragged him toward a table where a group of people were drinking, chatting and laughing. Not sparing a word or a glance for any of them, he grabbed a fucking tax accountant trench coat that was a size too big and in complete contrast with the fashionable and perfectly fitting jeans and t-shirt the man was wearing. Dean’s confusion must have been evident on his face because Castiel asked “Any problems?” with yet another arching of that damn brow, and Dean fucking <em>whimpered</em>, gulped and shook his head no, thanking the gods that the music in the club was too loud for his pathetic submissive sounds to be heard.</p><p>As soon as they left the club, Castiel asked him where he wanted to go, so he could give the address to the Uber he was ready to call.</p><p>“No need,” Dean replied, “I’ve got my car and we can go to my place?”</p><p>He made it sound like a question, even though that‘s actually his number one, non-negotiable rule when he hooks up with men. He just feels more comfortable in his own territory, especially when the man he invites back is as big as himself, which Castiel totally is.</p><p>The drive home was as tense as it could get, Dean's skin buzzing in anticipation, and he frankly appreciated Castiel keeping his hands to himself while he was driving. He was supremely distracted as it was, he might not have been able to avoid crashing against a tree if Gorgeous had put even a single finger on him. Dean was under the impression this <em>was</em> the kind of man that could make him come with just one finger.</p><p>It didn't help that he spent the whole drive staring at Dean, as if he was trying to count his freckles or grip his soul with his eyes. His staring was so intense that it took Dean a couple of seconds, after he put the car into park, to gather the courage to look at Castiel and face that hungry stare head on.</p><p>"I always like to know what I'm getting myself into," Castiel said and wow if that voice didn't make a shiver run through Dean. He'd known from the club that it was a smooth, dark voice with a very sexy quality, perfect to boss people around. But this was the first time Dean was hearing it without all the music and general loud mess of the club in the background, and he was pretty sure that if he could have had sex with a voice, this would be it. He could still have sex with the sexy owner of the sexy voice though. Next best thing.</p><p>"So I'd like to be clear. I wanna fuck you really bad, Dean. Will you let me fuck you?"</p><p>The rush of adrenaline that coursed through Dean at hearing those words was heady. No one, absolutely no one, had ever been so blunt with him before. Dean loved it.</p><p>"Yeah," he replied eloquently, throat barely working with how wound up he already was.</p><p>The most pleased smile appeared on Castiel's face, showing two rows of perfect white teeth that Dean wanted to feel against his neck.</p><p>"Very well," Castiel commented as if they were talking about the weather and not about him incapacitating Dean with his dick for the next few days, "lead the way."</p><p>What could Dean do, but obey?</p><p>So he got out of the car and started leading Castiel to his place, even though they both knew, by that point, that Dean was actually the one who was following. He was gonna let this man do whatever he wanted to him, he just knew that it was gonna be amazing regardless of what it was.</p><p>As soon as they got home, Dean barely had time to close the front door and take a breath to ask Gorgeous if he wanted anything to drink that the man's tongue was down his throat.</p><p>From there it was a blur of lips and tongues and hands and fingers and teeth and orders. "Get on your knees, sweetheart, let me see how beautiful you look with my cock in that perfect mouth. God, look at those eyes." "Suck me off, sweetheart, slow, like that, I wanna enjoy those lips, I've wanted to feel them around me as soon as I've seen them." "Get on the bed on all fours, sweetheart, let me see that amazing ass and little hole of yours."</p><p>Dean had been powerless to refuse Castiel anything, and Castiel‘s rewarded him by fucking his brains out while also managing to make him feel safe and truly wanted. All of him, not just his holes.</p><p>So, yeah, he definitely is a slut for this man's cock, and he can’t find it in himself to be ashamed about it.</p><p>“Yes, god, yes, please, <em>please</em>, <em>fuck</em> <em>me</em>,” Dean all but begs in response to Cas’s question.</p><p>“I am fucking you, sweetheart,” Castiel replies, smug and unapologetic, knowing full well that that‘s not what Dean means.</p><p>“Nooo,” Dean whines. Outright <em>whines</em>.</p><p>“No?” Cas coos. This man loves his power plays and Dean loves that he does. He doesn’t just want to fuck Dean unrestrained, he wants Dean to want it too. He wants Dean to <em>say</em> it.</p><p>“Like before,” Dean begs, “please, like before.”</p><p>“Like before?” Cas checks and snaps his hips forward without warning, burying himself hard and deep inside Dean, making him moan loudly out of both surprise and pleasure, “Like this?”</p><p>Dean can only nod his head dumbly, tightening the hold his hands have on Castiel’s arm and hip. He can’t think of much else beside the huge dick as far up his ass as it can possibly go.</p><p>“You want it rough? Hard? Fast?”</p><p>“Yes, fuck, fucking <em>pound me</em>, Cas.”</p><p>That must have been all Cas was waiting for, because Dean’s face is suddenly against the mattress and his hips are manhandled until his ass is tilted upwards enough that Cas can line himself up and enter Dean again. One of Cas’s knees is bent while the foot of his other leg is firmly planted on the mattress next to Dean’s right side. Dean can feel Cas’s closed fist against the mattress next to his other side for balance, and his other hand is against Dean’s shoulder blades, his fingers spread out, and a fleeting thought passes through Dean's mind that he wishes that hand could be branded into his skin. He sees in his mind eye, clear as if he was looking into a mirror, an image of a red handprint, a palm and five open fingers, right at the center of Dean's shoulders, so that everyone would know what Cas has done to him. They'd know he's used that hand to pin Dean against his bed and fucked him so good that Dean's had no choice but to bite and fist his sheets while he was moaning unabashedly as Castiel was ramming his ass mercilessly and hitting his prostate with inhuman precision.</p><p>"You feel so good, sweetheart," Cas says, even out of breath as he is, and Dean doesn't know how he can talk right now, Dean can only feel and make sounds.</p><p>"Not gonna last, sweetheart, your little hole feels too good," and Dean <em>mewls</em>, a warm feeling of accomplishment spreading through him at the praise. He's good enough that Cas is fucking him like it's his life mission and is about to shoot his load inside him, and Dean’s never hated condoms more than he does now.</p><p>"Touch yourself, sweetheart. Fuck your fist while I fuck your ass.”</p><p>Dean only moans and manages an eloquent “Shit” before sneaking a hand between his belly and the mattress to start stroking himself.</p><p>He's so close that it doesn't take more than a few strokes, the perfect combination of the head of Cas's dick brushing against Dean's pleasure spot and Dean's wrist working his own dick and he‘s coming harder than he has in months.</p><p>His aftershocks are so strong and last so long that it takes Dean some time to realize Cas must have come too, because his forehead is pressed against Dean's shoulder blades, right where his hand was before, and he's panting like a man who's been under water too long.</p><p>Dean doesn't mind. He quite likes it, in fact, to be kept in place by the full weight of Cas's body, while he's enjoying the afterglow of their spectacular fucking and Cas is still snuggled inside of his ass.</p><p>They stay like that for long moments, longer than it’s ever happened with other men, silent, enjoying these last stolen seconds of being one with the other. Until Cas presses a soft, lingering kiss to Dean’s back, pushes up on his arms and pulls out.</p><p>While Cas is walking to the en-suite, not doubt to get rid of the condom, Dean is left there, to think about how much he already misses being filled by Cas and how much he’s loved the simple kiss. A kiss that wasn’t meant to lead anywhere. I kiss that said ‘I’m not doing this because I have to, I’m doing it because I like you, because I have been inside of you, and you let me, and I enjoyed it.’</p><p>“Here,” Dean hears Cas deep voice say, and turns around – which causes his ass to ache amazingly – to see him holding a wet washcloth in his extended hand. This, too, has never happened with other men. They’ve never cared for Dean like that.</p><p>He takes the cloth while chuckling, pleasantly surprised and so pumped with endorphins that nothing could ruin his good mood now.</p><p>“Damn, Cas, that was amazing,” he tells him, because Cas should know Dean’s a very satisfied sexual partner right now.</p><p>“It was,” Cas agrees, “and I wouldn’t mind doing it again sometimes, maybe after you’ve let me take you out to dinner?”</p><p>Nothing could ruin his good mood now but <em>that</em>.</p><p>“Dinner?” Dean replies, “Nah, I don’t date guys,” he says, feigning nonchalance, and using the washcloth sliding against his torso as an excuse not to look at Cas.</p><p>When he can’t possibly pretend to be still cleaning himself, he looks up to see Cas looking at him with a cute, confused expression that screams ‘what about what we just did.’</p><p>Until understanding dawns on him.</p><p>“Oh. You’re not out,” Cas concludes. “I see,” he goes on, clearly disappointed but trying not to let it show too much. “Thank you for being honest,” he adds, with a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.</p><p>“And thank you for our time together, Dean,” and Dean immediately misses hearing Cas call him “sweetheart”.</p><p>“I enjoyed it immensely,” Cas adds with a smile that gets a little bit closer to his eyes, even though it doesn’t quite get all the way there.</p><p>“I better get going,” he explains, unnecessarily, as he starts looking around for his clothes.</p><p>“Doesn’t mean we can’t still do it sometimes, you know,” Dean tries, because Cas’s just fucked him better than anyone ever has in his entire life and Dean wouldn’t really mind taking a ride on that another couple of hundred times.</p><p>“Um, no, thanks, Dean. The key part of “one-night stands”,” Cas uses actual air quotes with the same thick fingers he’s used to open Dean’s ass quickly and efficiently so it could take his cock earlier and it’s adorable, “is “one night”,” because one set of air quotes wasn’t enough and clearly a second one was in order. This man goes from sex god to oversized dork in a matter of seconds.</p><p>“I know myself, I can’t help getting attached,” he adds conversationally, while he’s comparing two socks with a cute squint and trying to decide which one is his and which is Dean’s, “especially when there’s already an attraction as strong as the one I feel for you,” he explains, as if that was a totally normal thing to say and he wasn’t making Dean gape like a fish.</p><p>“So putting myself in that position would be pretty fucking stupid,” Cas says as he’s putting his t-shirt back on, so that his words come out muffled and his hair, alright fucked up before Dean got to put his hands on it and which has officially been upgraded to the level of bedhead™ after what they did, gets even wilder.</p><p>Once all of his clothes are back to hiding what Dean knows is a glorious body – to Dean’s endless disappointment – Cas goes to retrieve his stupid trench coat and checks that his keys and wallet are still in his pockets. He puts that on too and turns around to take a look at Dean, who’s still on the bed, right where Cas left him, unable to do or say anything even remotely useful in this situation.</p><p>He seems to be calculating something in his head, until a decisive expression appears on his face and he stalks toward the bed in a perfect imitation of Dean’s stalking earlier at the club.</p><p>Placing a knee on the mattress, he bends over until one on his hands makes contact with the pillow and the other reaches for Dean’s face, so he can press his lips, again soft and lingering, on Dean’s.</p><p>He breaks the kiss only to fix an intense pair of blue eyes on him. “I hope you’ll soon have the chance, courage and strength to truly be yourself in every aspect of your life. Because you’re nothing if not gorgeous, sweetheart.”</p><p>Cas smiles then, and his eyes smile just as much as his lips this time. “Goodbye Dean,” he finally says, as he starts retreating. He takes one last look at Dean and turns around, walking out of the bedroom.</p><p>A handful of seconds later, Dean hears the front door click shut. The silence in Dean’s apartment – and in his life – has never been so deafening.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope all of you beautiful people are doing well and are safe. </p><p>Today's a big day for the chunk of the fandom living in the USA. Please know that I am very much rooting for you guys &lt;3</p><p>I also wish to thank everyone who's been in touch in whatever form about the first chapter: the love and support really help *so much* when posting a WIP and I'm so thankful for each and every comment, kudo, subscription or bookmark.  </p><p>I'll now leave you to these two dealing with the aftermath of what's happened in chapter 1. Who knows whether a certain one-night-stand rule will be upheld...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I hope you’ll soon have the chance, courage and strength to truly be yourself in every aspect of your life,” Dean says out loud, in an angry and mocking impression of Cas, while he pours his second cup of morning coffee.</p><p>It’s been days since he and Cas fucked, and Dean can’t get him off his mind. He can’t stop thinking about what they did, and he cannot stop thinking about what Cas said after Dean told him he doesn’t date dudes.</p><p>At first, he thought he was butt hurt because no one had ever rejected him like that. Dean knows he’s hot, and everyone’s always eager to get another piece of his ass.</p><p>But as the days passed and his anger started growing rather than decreasing, he realized he was actually mad at both Cas and himself. At Cas for making him feel and think about things he’s become a world champion at ignoring and at himself for being suddenly unable to keep ignoring them semi-professionally like he’s done so far.</p><p>Thing is, none of the men he’s fucked – and he’s fucked many – has <em>ever</em> asked him out. Dean hasn’t asked any of them out either, but that’s beside the point. The point being, Dean’s always being content to be a mouth and a hole for his fuck buddies, he’s never thought about any of them considering him boyfriend material. That’s what women usually do. The moment Dean gets in their panties – often thinking that they’d fit him just as well, if not better – they start talking about dating. The men who fuck him though, they never do that. So Dean’s never really worried about having to confront his extracurricular activities with men during his daylight life, as the thought of dating one has never even crossed his mind.</p><p>Until now, that is. Because now it seems to be all he can think about. Dating men. Dating <em>one</em> man, to be more specific.</p><p>“Because you’re nothing if not gorgeous, sweetheart” Dean mocks Cas again out loud, because that always gives him a moment of relief, as petty as that is, and because it’s easier to be angry at those words than admitting that he melts a little inside every time they get replayed in his head.</p><p>He’s even had moments when he got mad at Cas for putting pressure on Dean to leave the closet for him. Only, that‘s not what happened, Dean is able to recognize that when anger stops flaring bright inside of him. Cas didn’t ask Dean to get out of the closet. He didn’t judge him for still being in there, cozy and unwilling to move. He just smiled, disappointed and resigned, wished Dean his best – because to someone who’s out, not having to hide cannot but be the best case scenario – and got out of Dean’s room, refusing to become Dean’s dirty little secret. Dean doesn’t know Cas. He doesn’t know his story. But Dean imagines that if he’d have the guts to leave his cozy closet, he wouldn’t want to end up sharing someone else’s, no matter how much he might like him.</p><p>Because Cas likes him. It was clear in the way he looked at Dean, the way he fucked him, the way he asked him out, almost shy and hopeful, even though he’d been an unrestrained beast just a few minutes earlier.</p><p>Or he <em>liked</em> him. That night. But he’s probably forgotten all about Dean in the meantime, labeled him as unavailable, and moved on to rock someone else’s world. Someone he might have asked out to dinner, and who might have said yes.</p><p>And all the while, Dean’s stuck in this exhausting loop of thoughts that invariably circle around Cas. He just can’t stop thinking about him.</p><p>But the truth is that there’s just no way around it. Cas wants to date Dean, and Dean doesn’t date men. No one in his life knows he fucks guys too. He’s pretty sure that more than one person wouldn’t like it if they did.</p><p>Dean just has to forget about that night and move on. Yes, it was instant attraction with Cas, much stronger than with any other man Dean’s hooked up with. Yes, the sex was hands down the best in Dean’s life, much better than with any man or woman he’s ever been with. Yes, Cas seems like a genuinely nice person besides being a sex God incarnated in a gorgeous human vessel. Still, Dean just has to forget about that night and move on.</p><p>Mind made up, he goes through the motions of getting ready for the day and going to work.</p><p>His resolve lasts all through dinner.</p><p>As he’s almost done with the dishes, however, he decides that he’s going back to the club on Friday. Officially, it’s because he’s concluded that fucking someone else will also fuck Cas out of his system. Unofficially, in that little corner of his mind Dean’s a world champion at ignoring while also constantly being aware of its presence, it’s because he hopes he’ll at least get another glimpse of Cas.</p><p>He doesn’t know that he will. Dean had been to the club maybe five or six times before last time, when he met Cas, and had never seen him. He knows he didn’t because, just like last time, he wouldn’t have been able to ignore him, gorgeous as he is, and he <em>certainly</em> wouldn’t have been able to just forget about him. Dean’s not a regular though, in the sense that he doesn’t go to the club on fixed days, he rather goes there when the inspiration strikes, which is another way of saying that he visits the place when he’s in desperate need of dick. He’s also a one-track minder. He doesn’t go to the club to <em>enjoy</em> the club – the noise, the drinks, the dance floor. No, he goes there to hook up. And that means that, once he’s chosen and engaged his target, he never wastes time looking around, he just gets them out of there and back to his place as soon as he can, especially if he’s very horny.</p><p>That doesn’t mean that Cas hadn’t noticed Dean before last time, though. A shiver runs through Dean at the idea of Cas’s eyes tracking his movements on one of those occasions. Of those intense, blue, otherworldly eyes watching Dean approach another man and take him out of there with a very clear intent written all over his face, while Dean was unaware that that was what those beautiful eyes were doing. He doesn’t know whether he hopes that’s what’s happened or not. He sure knows he loves the idea of Cas’s eyes on him. Jealous, possessive, hungry.</p><p>On Friday, he takes all but ten steps inside the club and he’s ready to admit that hooking up with someone else is the excuse, and hoping to see Cas is the real reason why he’s here. His shortened breathing and the lump in his throat are pretty clear indications of that. He’s not excited at the prospect of meeting and getting to fuck someone new, like he usually is. He’s a nervous wreck.</p><p>The mess in his head – and in his chest – doesn’t get any better when he does see Cas. Grinding against a bulky man on the dance floor, something like Benny, if Dean’s not mistaken. Their eyes lock and hold for what seems to be a very long time to Dean. They’re both frozen, looking at each other, Dean is rooted to the spot while Cas sways in time with his partner’s movements, but it’s clear he’s just letting himself be taken along for the ride, his focus solely on Dean. The guy, <em>Benny</em>, hasn’t even realized what’s happening, too busy kissing and nuzzling Cas’s neck and pushing what Dean is sure is an impressive bulge against Cas’s ass.</p><p>Blinding jealousy surges through Dean, he clenches his jaw and his fists, and when Cas breaks eye contact and leans back against Benny’s front, tilting his head up and offering even more room for the guy to banquet on his flesh, he feels the spell between them breaking like a punch to his guts.</p><p>Still, Dean can’t take his eyes away from the scene for a few, excruciating moments. He can’t help but think that could be him, grinding against Cas, making him feel his arousal against his magnificent ass, even though he knows he’d want Cas to fuck him once they got home.</p><p>But that’s not him, and can’t be him. Dean can’t have Cas. Cas’s been 100% clear.</p><p>Dean has no other choice but to force himself to tear his eyes away from the sensual view of Cas’s hips moving in time with the music and of that long, strong neck on display. Dean has no other choice but to do what he came here to do, at least officially.</p><p>That’s how he ends up taking a guy named Corbett home. Cute, nice guy. Beautiful eyes and adorable dimples. Slightly younger than Dean. Any other time, Dean would have ridden him until dawn. As it is, he fucks him once and can only come by closing his eyes and thinking of Cas.</p><p>That’s also the first of a string of similar evenings. Dean goes to the club, sees Cas there more often than not, they stare at each other for some time, until he or Cas break the spell by letting some other guy get in between them. Dean invariably gets morose and jealous when that happens, picks some guy to take back home, and leaves the club making sure Cas sees him leaving with someone else every time. He can’t even bring himself to feel guilty about turning on his bedroom eyes when he looks at Cas as he’s leaving with them. He keeps hoping against hope to get a reaction out of Cas. He keeps hoping that he’ll make Dean the exception to his one-night stand rule.</p><p>He doesn’t expect to get that reaction the first time he ever approaches him from up close, though.</p><p>One night, tired of their eye fucking from a distance and their unspoken challenge to flaunt more hook ups in front of each other, Dean sees Cas talking with a guy he knows fairly well through his brother.</p><p>Dean’s not sure saying hi is that great of an idea, but he’s so, so tired of watching from afar. He’s starting to forget the exact shade of Cas’s eyes, he’s itching to hear that deep voice and smell that heady scent again.</p><p>So he makes his way to them.</p><p>“Winchester,” the man greets, looking at Dean with way more knowing an expression than Dean is comfortable with.</p><p>“Gabe, nice seeing you,” Dean replies, trying to sound actually interested in his brother’s friend, and probably failing to hit the mark by approximately 75 miles.</p><p>“As if you’re here for me,” Gabe scoffs. He then narrows his eyes as if to challenge Dean to deny it.</p><p>Dean’s busted. Totally, completely busted.</p><p>Might as well go for the kill.</p><p>So he looks at Cas with suggestive eyes and says “I wish, Gabe. I have offered, in fact. Cas here ain’t interested.”</p><p>Cas doesn’t say a word, just grabs him by the wrist and drags him to the restrooms, Dean offering no resistance whatsoever.</p><p>Cas hauls Dean into a stall and pushes him against the wall, his back to Cas’s front, and locks the door.</p><p>“This what you want, eh? You’re that desperate for my cock up your ass?” Cas spits.</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>,fuck, give it to me, <em>please</em>,” he replies, sounding desperate to his own ears and not caring one bit, as long as he gets to have Cas inside him again.</p><p>He tries not to think about how freaking unsanitary what they’re doing is, about all the faces and hands and torsos that have been shoved against this wall to be drilled like Dean he’s about to be drilled. He can only hope they got it as good as Dean’s about to get it.</p><p>Cas unbuttons and yanks Dean’s jeans and underwear down unceremoniously to expose his ass, and when Dean hears the sound of Cas’s belt buckle being open, he sighs in relief. Then he hears the sound of a small packet of lube and a condom being unwrapped and moans “Yes” just as two of Cas’s fingers breach him without warning and not too gently.</p><p>Dean moans even louder then and Cas says “I don’t think I need to be too careful, with how many men you’ve left fuck you these last few weeks.” Dean would be mortified, if he wasn’t so far gone already and if the hint of jealousy in Cas’s voice wasn’t making him feel better about not being the only one hung up on the other. “I‘m right, aren’t I?”, Cas challenges, unnecessarily. They both know Dean has been fucking way more men than it’s strictly normal lately. “You’ll be open and ready in no time,” he comments, as he adds a third finger and starts scissoring Dean far less carefully than he had the first time they fucked.</p><p>The rough treatment isn’t turning Dean off though. If anything, it’s turning him on even more and he groans and moans and whines and says “yes”, “fuck”, “God” more than he normally would in a whole month. That’s probably because he knows he deserves to be treated as a whore, because that’s how he’s behaved. He’s been a whore for weeks, trying to get Cas to snap, all because he’s fucking unable to <em>use his fucking words</em> and just talk to the guy, and now he’s getting what he wished for.</p><p>“That’s right, sweetheart, <em>sing</em> for me. I want the whole club to hear what a slut you are for <em>me</em>. I want them to know you’re finally getting the dick you’ve been taunting me for for <em>weeks</em>.” Cas’s tone is cold, and bitter, and angry, and smug, and turned on all at once and it’s making Dean’s head spin. “And you’re gonna feel it for <em>days</em> when I’m done, so maybe you’ll give me a break and let me have some peace of mind before you need to come back for more”, Cas says, as his fingers slip out of Dean’s hole and the blunt head of his cock presses against his entrance.</p><p>It should be humiliating – Cas has literally pegged him down to a tee – yet it isn’t. It actually makes him feel seen, like Cas understands that Dean just cannot stay away, and even if they both know that would be wisest thing to do, it makes him feel that maybe Cas can’t stay away either.</p><p>When Cas finally enters him, it’s heaven. He’s not tender about it, not like last time, when he breached Dean slowly, thrusting inside fractionally, so Dean’d have all the time he might need to adjust. No, this time he bottoms out in one smooth, uninterrupted motion. He does still then, though. His big hands holding Dean’s hips tightly, his head against the back of Dean’s neck, his breath hot against Dean’s skin. Cas stays like that for a few moments and Dean doesn’t dare move or say anything. He knows he’s done more than enough so far. Now the ball is in Cas’s court.</p><p>Cas takes a deep breath, and lets loose. He starts fucking Dean hard, deep and fast from the get go, snapping his hips with all his strength and using the hold on Dean’s sides to pull him down to meet each of his thrusts.</p><p>Dean’s moaning shamelessly, saying “yes, yes, yes” on repeat, loving how Cas’s dick grazes against his prostate and how the sounds they are making will really make everyone outside the door aware of what it is they’re doing. It’s not like that’s unheard of, it’s the fucking restroom of a fucking gay club, of course it’d be used to fuck, but Dean loves that Cas is fucking him so loudly in here, that he has no qualms in making everyone who might be passing by know he enjoys fucking Dean.</p><p>And he does. He so does. Dean’s not the only one who can’t control his mouth. Cas is being just as vocal as Dean, groaning and panting in pleasure and telling Dean how good he feels, how much he loves fucking his little hole, how hot and tight and perfect he is.</p><p>Dean’s so focused on the feeling of being finally connected with Cas again that he’s not even thinking about his own erection or need to come. It’s almost like he’d gladly never come again, if that meant he could keep Cas inside like this for ever. So he’s surprised and totally choked up when Cas moves his right hand to his dick and starts stripping him hard and fast, making sure his thumb brushes against his slit on every upward stroke.</p><p>He comes with a strangled cry, surprised that he’d been so close to his climax and he hadn’t even realized it. Cas groans loudly when he does, clearly reveling in Dean’s inner muscles clenching around his cock and goes back to fucking Dean in earnest while Dean’s still trembling from his aftershocks and his toes are still curled in his boots.</p><p>He comes less than a minute later, screaming “Fuck, <em>Dean</em>,” and stilling his hips so that his whole length is buried inside of Dean’s ass to the hilt and his hands are gripping his sides so tight that Dean hopes they’ll leave behind bruises in the shape of fingerprints that Dean can have tattooed.</p><p>Dean is still panting against the wall when he hears Cas buckling himself up again.</p><p>Cas turns him around and kisses him. Slowly, deeply, unhurriedly.</p><p>Then he looks him in the eye and says “See you around, sweetheart,” before pecking Dean’s lips one last time, unlocking the door and exiting the stall without looking back.</p><p>“Fuck,” Dean says out loud, thumping his head back against the wall and wondering when he’ll start feeling the relief he thought he’d feel after fucking Cas again.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In case the name doesn’t make any bells ring, Corbett is the gay kid whose ghost ended up with a birthday hat at a ghost party during one of the episodes with the ghost facers. The poor kid was an absolute darling and totally deserved better, so I thought a revenge fuck with Dean, even though not ideal, is definitely better than what he got in canon. At least he gets some here lol</p><p>This is the first time I write our boys with anyone else... how did I do? *worried face*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here it is guys, the final chapter. I must confess it feels surreal to post this update after last week's episode. I swear I didn't plan this, as I couldn't have possibly known about the Big HOMOSEXUAL Confession (Misha's words, not mine: our overlord has spoken and his words will be heeded and honored forever). </p><p>Thank you for all the support lovely people, you've been amazing as always &lt;3 I hope you'll like how the fic wraps up. </p><p>See you next time, you stay safe out there, ok? :-******</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their quickie in the bathroom stall doesn’t help to take Cas out of Dean’s system.</p><p>On the contrary, Cas clouds all his dirty fantasies, and some not so dirty as well. All the guy has to do to attract Dean’s attention is literally <em>nothing</em>. His mere presence in the room is more than enough to make Dean forget a whole world exists around him. He’s seen him relaxed, having a drink and laughing with his friends, and that smile and that laugh are something else. Dean wonders how it would feel to be the source of that smile. But that would mean coming out and he doesn’t know that he can do that.</p><p>They keep fucking – Dean becomes close friends with that bathroom stall, with how many times Cas fucks him in there or they get each other off with sloppy hand jobs or blowjobs. There’s not a trace of finesse when they meet like that either, all their anger, and jealousy, and frustration and desperation pushing them to find an outlet in each other’s body without any kind of control or restraint.</p><p>They’re not exclusive though, and Dean tells himself that it’s OK, that it’s enough, that the idea that Cas fucks other men too doesn’t slice him open, that if he’s sometimes unable to get hard at all when he gets fucked it’s because the dude he was with didn’t know how to make it good for him, that if he’s unable to sleep in his bed without changing the sheets unless they smell of Cas it’s just because Cas smells really nice and other men don’t.</p><p>Until, one day, Dean breaks.</p><p>They’re in his bedroom, and they’ve just finished fucking. As usual by now, Cas has helped himself to Dean’s en-suite to clean himself up and come back with a damp cloth for Dean. Unlike their first night together though, Dean’s started to drag Cas back to bed for some post-sex making out after he’s washed his come away from his chest or from wherever it’s landed. He knows he’s getting clingy and clingy, but he just doesn’t care one bit how desperate that makes him look, because he just wants Cas that much and can’t, won’t, miss out on even a second of their time together. This time it’s even worse, his need for Cas. For one reason or another, it‘s been two weeks since the last time they were together and Dean’s missed Cas so much, missed being with him, touching him, kissing him, smelling him, feeling him inside and been touched and kissed and smelled and filled by him, that the relief of finally being together again is almost too much.</p><p>So when Cas kisses him with his lips and no tongue, Dean knows the “See you around, sweetheart” ritual has started. When Dean opens his eyes, he will see Cas’s blue eyes open, looking at Dean. He will peck Dean one last time, break the kiss, give him a small, sad, apologetic smile, and get up to start getting dressed and walk through the door.</p><p>That’s exactly what starts happening when Dean finally opens his eyes, because he can’t keep them closed forever and live in this one perfect moment for eternity. But when Cas is buckling his belt, that damn sound, which usually makes Dean feel intense relief at the knowledge he’s about to be joined with Cas again, makes the dam break.</p><p>The tears start falling and he tries to conceal them, he really does, but he sniffs and Cas hears it, of course he does, because he’s attuned to Dean just as much as Dean is to him, and turns around to fix concerned eyes on Dean. That’s too much for Dean, the concern and interest and undivided attention in those eyes and he can’t stop his sobs from being obvious, and loud and absolutely damning.</p><p>“Dean?”, Cas asks, concern evident in his voice just as much as it is in his eyes.</p><p>Dean can’t answer, he can’t talk, he knows he won’t be able to shut up once he starts and he can’t tell everything that’s spinning in his head to Cas, he cannot dump all his fucking problems on this amazing soul, he’s already been doing that far too much, so he just keeps sobbing and shaking his head and keeping his face covered with both his hands.</p><p>But Cas is nothing if not persistent, and he sits back on the bed, next to Dean, so, so close, and damn he smells of Cas and of sex and of <em>Dean</em> and that makes him cry even harder, because he knows that once Cas gets home and takes a shower his smell will be gone and it will be like it never happened, like they never happened, and it’s fucking unfair. “Dean,” Cas tries again, cupping Dean’s face with both hands and trying to bring Dean to look at him. “What is it, sweetheart? Did I hurt you?”</p><p>It’s the endearment that does Dean in. And the concern that Cas might have hurt Dean when, in reality, it’s Dean the one who’s been hurting both himself and Cas for fucking months, however unwillingly.</p><p>“I can’t get you off my mind, Cas,” Dean shouts, and it’s so liberating, to finally say the words aloud to someone other than himself. “I tried to stay away, but it didn’t work, Cas, it didn’t. I could only stay away so long,” he soldiers through, because now that he’s started, he can’t stop and he doesn’t want to either, because he knows that if he doesn’t tell Cas what’s on his mind now, he never will, and he thinks, he <em>feels </em>that he needs to finally be honest with both himself and this incredible man and tell him everything that’s in his mind, and in his heart. “So I told myself being occasional fuck buddies would be enough. Hell, I basically <em>forced</em> you into it even though you’d told me that wasn’t what you wanted. But I pushed, and pushed, and pushed until you snapped and fucked me in a fucking public restroom-“</p><p>“Dean-“</p><p>“No, Cas, please. Don’t defend me. God knows I don’t deserve it. I’m not-“ Dean sighs, scrubbing his face with one hand, which comes back wet with his tears and his snot and it’s fucking gross, but he can’t bring himself to care about that now or worry about what a disgusting picture he must make to Cas at the moment. “I’m not looking for absolution here,” he confesses. “I-. Please, let me finish?”</p><p>Cas looks into his eyes like he often does, searching for the truth behind the words, and then just nods, his hands still cupping Dean’s face, his thumbs tracing soothing patterns on Dean’s cheeks. Even now, he’s taking care of Dean more than any other partner ever has.</p><p>“It didn’t make it better, being your fuck buddy. It’s glorious, don’t get me wrong, sex with you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” because since he’s being honest, why not straight out confess that Dean didn’t know sex could be both so overwhelming and pacifying until he met Cas. “It actually makes it worse. I can get you even less off my mind with you back in my bed. What do I do Cas? Please, what do I do?” Dean concludes, his plead evident in both his eyes and his voice.</p><p>“Oh Dean,” Cas says, big, sad, blue eyes, suspiciously wet, fixed on Dean. “I can’t tell you what to do,” he adds, tone forced and resigned, as if what he’s saying is the exact opposite of what he’d like to say.</p><p>“You can tell me what’d you like to do,” Dean pushes, “Or what you’d like me to do,” because he wants, needs, Cas to help him.</p><p>“I told you already, the first time we were ever together,” Cas replies, his eyes dropping down for the first time, and his voice barely a whisper, as if he’s confessing a secret he should feel ashamed of but doesn’t.</p><p>“The offer still stands?” Dean asks, stunned. He doesn’t know what he was hoping for, his breakdown wasn’t exactly planned, but he didn’t dare hope that Cas would still want him, even knowing fully well as he does now what a gigantic basket case Dean is. He didn’t think he’d be OK with being saddled with a partner who needs to get out of the closet and doesn’t have a fucking clue how to even start doing that.</p><p>“Do you think I would have been as pathetically unable to stay away from you as I've been, if it didn’t?” Cas replies, his tone much steadier and surer than it was a second ago.</p><p>“I don’t know how to be q-queer,” Dean says in response, his gaze dropping in shame, because Dean clearly doesn’t want to be happy and rather than throwing himself at the man of his dream after he’s told him he still wants him, Dean still chooses to point out the biggest fucking problem between them. <em>Out loud</em>. But he needs to be honest, if they are to start this... whatever this is. He needs Cas to be fully aware that “gigantic basket case” means “a basket case the size of the Everest and its cousin” before he commits himself to this.</p><p>“That’s because there’s not one single way to be queer,” Cas replies without missing a beat, tone that of someone who knows they’re stating the obvious. “And it’s not about being queer, either. Not really. It’s about being <em>yourself</em>. Being queer is part of that. It doesn’t define you. It’s one of the facets of who you are, not the only element that makes you, well, you,” he goes on to explain, and his words and his tone are so sure that a weird calm is settling on Dean and he starts feeling like he can breathe a little more easily. “You need to learn to accept that you are who you are, good and bad, and that that’s enough. The trick,” Cas stresses the word and fixes a piercing set of eyes on Dean, making sure Dean has no other choice but to listen, “isn’t molding yourself based on what you think others expect from you. It’s to understand who you truly are and finding your people, the ones who will appreciate you for exactly the person you are,” he concludes, raising the fucking Dom brow which, intellectually, Dean knows is meant to signal ‘there, I’m done, I’ve driven my point across and if you think about it, you’ll know I’m right’, but which still ends up being a little distracting because it causes a Pavlovian reaction in Dean’s nether regions.</p><p>“That sounds fucking hard,” he forces himself to reply, because they are having a serious conversation which might actually lead to them getting together, so his dick and his ass can fuck off or, well, wait for their fucking turn.</p><p>“It is,” Cas concedes, but he’s smiling, serene, and Dean’s lungs expand a little more. “But it is also the only way to live life to its full potential. And for what is worth,” he continues, a mischievous light appearing in his eyes all of a sudden and a sexy little smirk on his lips, “there’s one person who appreciates you for exactly who you are right here, right now.”</p><p>Dean couldn’t help himself if a whole army tried to restrain him. He surges forward, crashing his lips with Cas’s while he moans and cries a little more for good measure, because apparently his waterworks are defective and they will never stop releasing tears, and brings his arms around Cas’s back and holds tighter than he’s ever held anything in the whole of his existence, mostly because nothing in the whole of his existence was worth clinging to the way Cas is.</p><p>Cas is clinging back just as tightly and his kisses are hungrier than they’ve ever been, which is saying something, because Dean’s always felt like Cas wanted to devour him every time they’ve been together.</p><p>He starts leaning forward and Dean gets the hint and lies back, opening his legs right away so Cas can slot in between them. They keep kissing, but Dean’s hating the feeling of Cas’s pants and buckle against his naked skin, Cas should be naked like Dean, so he sneaks his hands in between them and tries to open them.</p><p>“Off,” he mumbles between kisses.</p><p>“Dean, we don’t have to-“</p><p>“Please Cas,” Dean begs with both his words and his eyes, “please, again?”</p><p>He doesn’t even have to clarify, Cas knows what he’s asking, of course he does, of course he knows Dean’s begging him to fuck him again, not as one of his fuck buddies but as his <em>partner</em>.</p><p>“You sure?” Cas checks, because of course taking care of Dean is his top priority – pun intended.</p><p>“Yes, yes, please, Cas, I-,” Dean’s ready to keep going, to say despicable things to get Cas inside of him again, but he doesn’t have to.</p><p>“Sshhh,” Cas shushes him softly, caressing his face and kissing him lightly on the lips. “I’ve got you, sweetheart.”</p><p>“You do?” Dean asks, his voice small and his eyes prickling again, because his waterworks <em>really</em> are defective.</p><p>“Yes,” Cas replies, sure and fierce, “and I’m not letting you go.”</p><p>If Dean had any hope of not letting his tears fall again, that sentence makes it evaporate. He starts crying and sobbing again, but Cas doesn’t stop. He actually goes back to kissing Dean and holds him, and when Dean calms down a bit, he starts working on his pants to remove them and just goes back to lying on top of Dean right away once he’s naked too.</p><p>They kiss, and kiss, and kiss, holding each other close, and whispering sweet nothings between one kiss and the next. “I want you so much,” Dean says, and “Me too, sweetheart, I think about you always,” Cas replies. A few more tears fall from Dean’s eyes, but he’s no longer sure whether they’re of desperation or joy.</p><p>When Cas tries to disentangle himself from Dean, he whines and tightens his hold on instinct, a brief surge of panic seizing through him. “Ssh, sweetheart,” Cas reassures him. “I’m just grabbing a condom,” he smiles.</p><p>Right. They still need to use them, with how many other people they’ve been with recently, and Dean’s both so nauseous at the very thought and so fucking relieved that’s not gonna continue he could cry again.</p><p>He lets Cas go then, but only just. He fucking makes grabby hands at him when Cas comes back, making him huff a laugh while he’s rolling the condom on himself.</p><p>“Someone’s eager,” he comments, mirth clear in his voice.</p><p>“You bet your glorious ass I am. I miss having my boyfriend inside of me.”</p><p>Oops. Dean’s words might have got away from him a tiny bit. Let not be said that, when Dean Winchester finally decides to do something, he does it halfway. Once the dam gets broken, it’s fucking <em>shattered</em>.</p><p>Cas freezes with both hands still around his dick.</p><p>He lifts his head after a couple of seconds to look at Dean and asks, tentative and hopeful just like the time he asked Dean out that first night all those months ago, “Boyfriend?”</p><p>Dean won’t reject him again. Not now, not ever.</p><p>“If you want,” Dean tries for nonchalant, going as far as shrugging a shoulder a bit, but he knows the “Please, want me” is written all over his face with neon ink, what with his puffy, red eyes and the pleading expression he knows he’s sporting.</p><p>“Sweetheart,” Cas starts, one of those blinding smiles appearing on his face, and yep, being the source of one of those is fucking unbelievable, “there’s nothing I want more.”</p><p>Dean goes back to breathing, and he hadn’t even realized he’d stopped doing that while he was waiting for Cas’s response, and smiles back, incredulous and happier than he’s been in a long, long, long, long, long time.</p><p>Cas literally drapes himself over Dean and goes for his mouth, and when Dean feels one of his hands traveling downward to line his dick up with Dean’s opening, he spreads his legs even wider and hooks them behind Cas’s back. Cas enters him with no resistance, Dean’s still loose from their previous session, but he still pushes forward slowly, never breaking their kiss or removing his hands from around Dean’s face. Cas starts rocking gently, his hands never stilling in their job of caressing every inch of Dean’s face they can reach, his lips and tongue never tiring of kissing Dean’s lips and licking inside Dean’s mouth.</p><p>They go on like this for an eternity, moving together slowly, softly, in a choreography they’ve perfected over months of getting to know each other’s body like their own, and when Dean feels Cas’s hand on his cock, he joins with his own hand, because he can’t think of anything better than bringing each other off together. From now on, he wants them to do anything they can together.</p><p>He comes silently, his noises swallowed by Cas’s mouth and his eyes locked with Cas’s, so he can see the naked joy, overwhelming and pacifying, Dean’s feeling. When Cas comes inside him less than a dozen thrusts later, Dean kisses him with all the feelings he can muster, physically tired, emotionally drained and sexually sated as he is right now, thinking that he can’t wait for the day they’ll stop using condoms. Because that’ll be the day Dean gets to finally feel all of Cas, and because that’ll be the clearest sign that no one else gets to touch any of them anymore.</p><p>Cas manages one last kiss to Dean’s lips before he lands on top of him, and Dean’s never felt lighter than he feels now, with Cas’s whole weight covering him from head to toe.</p><p>He starts playing with Cas’s hair while they lie there, content to just being with each other at long last.</p><p>“It’s gonna be so hard, being open,” Dean says after a little while. Because he’s worried, and he needs his... boyfriend – he smiles at the thought – to get him out of his own mind.</p><p>“Many things in life are,” Cas comments, before lifting his head from Dean’s chest and gently placing his chin on Dean’s sternum, while his right hand goes to cup the side of Dean’s face.</p><p>“They’re also usually worth fighting for,” he goes on, before gracing Dean with another one of his beautiful, hopeful smiles. “And you, Dean Winchester, are <em>definitely</em> worth fighting for.”</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ten months later</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Mark. This is my boyfriend, Cas.”</p><p>“Oh, hi. I didn’t know you were, um-"</p><p>“-taken?”</p><p>Dean‘s learnt to stop being always on the defensive and distinguish between homophobes and people who are just surprised when he first tells them about Cas. He’s learnt, in time, to put the first group in the their place and the second out of their misery.</p><p>“Yeah, for almost a year now,” he adds, smiling brightly at his boyfriend, whose answering smile is just as bright. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”</p>
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